Kirsten Delaney is a homeschooling mom of two daughters, ages eight and ten. She works part-time as a dental hygienist. Her two daughters attend a parent partnership two days a week. Kirsten is in her fifth year of her homeschooling journey. She also
writes her her own blog, “Outside the Box Homeschooling”, and does testing for various curriculum publishers. This is her first guest post for Homeschooling on the Cheap.
A Biblical premise that seems to have been lost in today’s society is the ability to separate a behavior from the person. When Jesus defended the woman caught in adultery, he did not say that her behavior was acceptable. He said that the person who was without sin could throw the first stone. He then told her that he did not condemn her, to go, and sin no more (John 8:1-10). A character trait I hope to instill in my children is to be respectful of others, whether we agree with them or not, show them kindness and love, but to never waver in upholding an ethical and moral standard for themselves.
Once again, this very issue came up this morning via social media. A friend of my husband asked a question, requesting opinions on an issue. My husband expressed his opinion citing documentation from actual sites pertaining to the issue. Others jumped into the conversation citing only their emotional opinions, calling names, and degrading the character of the people having the conversation and the people group as a whole who participate in a particular activity. It blows me away every time this occurs. Why can’t people in our society disagree over issues and politely discuss the merits of differing viewpoints? If you can’t discuss an opinion siting actual facts, then do the research and have some backing for an opinion. This social problem seems so ridiculous to me. As I parent my children, they present ideas or behaviors on a regular basis that are unacceptable. Continually, I must teach them that, although I love them, their behavior is unacceptable. The behavior is separate from the person. The child isn’t bad, the behavior, speech, attitude, etc. is unacceptable in our home.
I actually enjoy conversing with people who hold extremely differing viewpoints from my own. Sometimes, I must mask my shock that people actually think a certain way, but out of respect, I try to hold my composure. One method I have learned to use in conversation is to ask why they think a certain way. If we understand why others think or believe a certain way, we can understand them better and affirm that they are being heard. There have been times when facts have been presented that actually have made me rethink an opinion. This is a big element that I hope to teach my children. I want them to know WHY they believe a certain way. Jumping on the emotional tide of the media or being swayed by friends is something I hope to help them avoid. After a person is affirmed and understand that they have been heard, then it is much easier to present a differing opinion. Am I always successful in employing this method myself? Not always. I too get caught up in the tide of emotion and often spout off half cocked. It seems like these times never turn out well.
So my challenge for this week is, that as we parent our children, interact with our friends, and approach a politically volatile time in our country, we discuss the issues, have a knowledge base for opinions, and separate behaviors, ideas, and actions from the person or people group with which they are associated. Have a blessed week, and enjoy family, friends, and the people you meet along the way!
